Lessons from 2020

I think we can all agree that 2020 is one for the record books. Like many of you, I was just getting by and  taking things day by day. The whole year felt like a struggle as I tried to figure out new ways of making sure everyone’s needs were met. Right now, as I’m writing this, my house isn’t just a home, but my office, my gym, my husband’s office, and my son’s school - the house feels a whole lot smaller than it was this time, last year and the sink is ALWAYS full of dishes! 

But the thing about struggle is how it makes you stronger. Resistance builds strength. Even if you don’t feel stronger, I know for a fact that you have learned from this experience.

What has 2020 taught you to make you better for 2021? Looking back through my notes and timelines, here’s what I’m going to take with me.

1. Treading is better than drowning.

Why do we have an aversion to maintenance? Life isn’t always about having a “grow or die” mentality. You know what’s better than drowning? Keeping your head above water.

2. Time is a privilege, not a luxury. Life is short. Quit acting like it’s not. 

Two of my friends’ husbands passed away unexpectedly this year - both non-COVID related. Both of their families are just like mine. Early 40’s, one or two kids, mortgage due next month, then BAM - out of the fucking blue they’re dead. 

What I felt, and still feel, can not compare to what they have been forced to deal with. But when something like this happens TWICE in your close circle, you wonder what the universe is trying to tell you!  You can’t help but think how you would deal with similar circumstances? What if my husband dies unexpectedly? Will he die unexpectedly? Then again, is any death really “expected?” 

You just don’t know, so stop wasting time and live your life already!

3. Having the perfect plan doesn’t matter. 

Who of us didn’t have big plans for 2020? Furthermore, who of us had to change those plans? 

You know the quote, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plan.” I used to get a kick out of that quote, only now do I understand just how true it is. I know a lot of us struggle to take action because we haven’t first figured out all 10 steps to doing the thing. But if the plan can change on step three, why not just get step one out of the way? 

Planning is important, it gets us into the mindset to accomplish great things. But we should also plan for the plan to change. 

4. I’m more adaptable that I realized. 

I never thought I would be a “workout at home” person. But when 2020 makes it the only option, that’s what you do! I also never thought that I could work from home, with the rest of my family in the house, but somehow we made it work. 

We adapted. 

5. Looking too far into the future fucks me up.

Continuing on point #3. I read a book, The Buddha and the Badass by Vishen Lakhiani, and it really messed me up. The book talks a lot about vision, a 10-year plan, hiring the right people, and your mission in life. There is no way to read it and not have your mind go into overdrive. I started second guessing my entire life and figured it might be better to just quit while I’m ahead than to have to figure out a ten year plan. 

Fortunately, my therapist, friends, and my own rational brain was able to bring me back 50 steps to focus on what was right in front of me. Lesson learned. I can’t wait until I learn this one AGAIN. 

6. Comparison feels gross on the inside.

Don’t hate me, but I can’t say I’ve ever really suffered at the claws of the comparimonster. Sure, I measure myself up against the other moms in the neighborhood who seem to have it all together. But since I work with so many women I know that no matter how much someone appears to have it all together, no one really does. 

I rarely compared myself to what others were doing. Until, I did. Then the comparimonster lept out of nowhere and had its claws in my back (not in the good way). I was doing two continuing education courses, and both of them were full of newer coaches who were in a different stage of life and businesses than what I have going on. These other students have different life responsibilities, they live in hustle-city and are on full-time start-up mode. 

I had already come to terms with the fact that treading water was, for the season I’m in, just fine for what I needed.But then these new, younger coaches? They are coming in hot! All of the sudden I felt as though I need to be doing more. Posting more on social media, getting my sales funnels in order, training more, harder, and finding more clients. These yougin’s had me feeling like I needed to get some hustle on!

WRONG.

The lesson? I was doing just fine. I had made up my mind UNTIL I started comparing. I felt gross, I felt less-than, my confidence tanked. Flashback to Lessons that I’m Still Learning from last year, I AM ENOUGH. I am enough. What I do is enough. What I have is enough.

If there was ever a tattoo to get, this will be it. Enough.

7. The timing will never be perfect, do it anyway. 

I learned this one from my clients. So many people joined LIft to Get Lean this year right when the pandemic was at its worst.  Right when none of us knew what was going to happen next, when the gyms were closed, when we were out of toilet paper, and they still found success through the program. Every one of them could have waited for the pandemic to end before they signed up to LTGL. But had they done that, they would be even further behind. Instead, they are closer than ever to their goals because they didn’t wait for the perfect time. 

8. Everyone still needs therapy. 

Yep, this is a repeat from last year’s learnings. I consider myself a mental healthcare advocate and encourage everyone I meet to go to therapy. I have been at it for over a year in and it’s amazing to look back and see the progress I made. In our sessions, we are talking about different things, noticing patterns, and going deeper. Lifting weights is one thing, but therapy? That’s where the real work happens. 

9. I have the best people in my life.

There is absolutely no way I could do what I do without my supportive husband Patrick, my autonomous and exceptional son Brooks, my generous in-laws, and my hardworking team: Leanne, Lisa, Alejandra, Nicole and Courtney, my brilliant copywriter David (who did not edit this line in!) and my efficient web designer Emily. Some of them you know, some of them are behind the scenes, but none of what I do would be possible without them. Not to mention, my social media friends Lindsey Bush, Ali Damron, Marci Nevin and Jaime Morocco. Talking to them when I feel lost gets me back on track. 

This life is way too hard to go at it alone. Don’t even try. Get your people. 

10. Trust the timing of the universe. You will get exactly what you need, when you need it.

File this one under “lessons I’m still learning,” but everytime I try to force something to happen it ends up backfiring. Reaction mode is not a good look on me. When I sit back, let the universe do her thing, I get what (and who) I need exactly when I need it. 

There’s no need to stress about the 10 year plan, Kylie.

The universe has my back.